It is kind of like dieting or coming to Jesus!
She has to “want” to do it. My husband wanted to spend, save, and pay debt, but he wasn’t over the top gazelle like I wanted to be. He still thought that using credit was ok as long as we could make a profit from selling something to a client. He wanted to buy things to bring the business up to date by using credit, but I was against it. It took us a lot longer to become debt free, but eventually we paid off the original debt. I would just set a good example, using cash, paying off your debt and setting up automatic savings accounts. That way when you have an emergency or want to do something with the kids, you can show her how your savings accounts make it easy.
Eventually, she may want to try it your way.