What mental tricks do you use to stay motivated to stay on track.

I especially need ideas to get other family members on board.
I have a nontraditional family in that we are a family of two moms and two kids. We are not legally married, but have been living as a family for 15 years. We have a house together and two kids together (legally they are both of ours). But, we both brought histories of not so good money management and decided to keep some personal financies separate. We have joint accounts and personal accounts and I have no say over her personal accounts, but it is her personal financial situation that is the worst. I am struggling with the best way to get her motivated without being a nag or telling her what to do. She does not respond well to either.

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